Deconstruction vs. Demolition: When your world falls apart.

I would say that I've been through a very long period of both spiritual and personal deconstruction in my life.  I've even written about it before, that uncomfortable stretching that happens when you are taken out of the "comfort" of the usual and forced to learn how to embrace life's never-ending changes in stride.  People who love to be in control do not like to embark on these periods of change, it's unsettling to them to not be able to control every little detail.

The deconstruction process was hard, the piece by piece dismantling of yourself, to return to the core of your personal truths. I was doing the work, putting in the time, digging deep, but I was in no way prepared for what happened next.  It reminds me of when we only had one child and we had thought wow this is so hard, then we suddenly had four. Looking back on having only one child, then seemed like a piece of cake.

I was finally comfortable in this deconstruction process ,and then, out of none where, it showed up and blindsided me. I can only explain it as being in the ocean enjoying the waves amidst the chilly but finally bearable water as your skin had adjusted to the cold, and then out of none where the undertow comes in and sweeps your feet out from under you and you are swept away fully immersed, unsure if you are going to every get your footing again. That my friends is what I call the demolition period of deconstruction.

Demolition leaves you feeling totally unprepared as it swoops in with a vengeance and pressed the self-destruct button on every piece of my life. Nothing was left unaffected, not my faith, not one core beliefs, not my relationships, not my priorities., every ounce of who I thought I was crumbled away. It felt awful.

I found myself stepping back, observing, examining, and digging, hands fully in the dirt, determined to uncover and eliminate all the junk that no longer served me. Demolition is asking those tough, painful, scary questions and finding the answers that help you move forward.

What do I believe and why? What is my purpose? Why am I here? Do I even love me? Am I worth knowing? What is my passion?

It's the process of hurling aside all of those things that you were told you were and you should be and should do and holding on tight to only those truths that speak to who you are now and who you want to be.

Brene Brown likes to call it a "spiritual awakening," or jokingly her mental breakdown. These types of awakenings aren't just experienced mentally, or spiritually, they are also felt physically because we are whole beings.   Many times panic, anxiety, and fear accompany them.  These feeling are in no way new to me and I have learned how to embrace and accept them rather than shove them down, because I know they are there to uncover something. They are an opportunity to help me heal, grow, and move forward.  

Sometimes we need a little extra support during this process. I’d love to offer you a FREE exploratory session to see if my services may be a good fit to help you navigate these uncharted waters and potentially throw you a lifeline from someone whose been there.