The Most Difficult Journey

Sometimes the most difficult journey in life is to let go of a belief you have held all your life. These types of mindsets don’t go away overnight. It takes time, intention, and guts to let go and start again. We don’t get to schedule the timeline of when we will be free of them, however, we do get to decide how we will process through them. 

At the beginning I fought the process because well I have a fighter’s spirit, my grandma would say it’s that Morrison Spirit. I wanted to be done with it to move on, to be done, but I needed to give myself the time to sit in it and with it so I could process through it. Time to learn things about myself that I would need to help me find true joy in my life. I had to sit in the ugly, feel the emotions, tackle the hard questions. It wasn’t pretty and I tried to numb those uncomfortable feelings of grief, anger, sadness, and despair. I realized I had to let go of somethings and people that I had held dear and embrace some things I found well, scary. But, seeing things now from where I am at makes me realize it was so worth it. Would I have liked it to be shorter, absolutely, however, I don’t think I would have grown as I needed if it had been.

Sometimes courage looks like saying, “I don’t care if I’m wrong, I just want to know truth.” Sometimes it looks like allowing yourself to sit with those uncomfortable feelings, to allow the tears to flow the anger to bubble up and the sadness to escape. The desire to know my own truth began thus far an 8 year journey that has ultimately lead me to joy. I pray that you find your joy. I pray that whatever it is that fills up your heart you have the courage to try and do it. I pray that whether you believe you succeed or fail isn’t based on others judgements but simply by the joy you feel. I pray that there are those in your life that show you unconditional love and acceptance and that you find your joy.