Offense: Opportunity or Outrage
The other day someone said to me, “You can say whatever you want as long as you say it nicely.” I really had to think about that, can you really say anything if it is put nicely?
Voicing my opinion and sharing my truth is an area of growth for me. These past two years I have worked on allowing myself to further heal from the aftereffects of patriarchal Christianity we left. As I healed and reclaimed my voice, I began to recognize the power of sharing my own unique journey but, there are still some things that I have not yet shared. Partially because I didn’t want to disrespect another’s journey and partially because I don’t want to deal with the backlash like I received when I first began to share my journey out.
So, can you really express your concerns, feelings, opinions, and values without disrespecting another?
As much as I would like to think that we can, I don’t think society is at that place yet. Could we get there, I sure hope so. We need to recognize that we have no control over how someone else will react or feel to what we share. They only thing we can control is our intention and heart in sharing and our own reactions. As long as we continue to view and react to others through our own inner wounding’s and hurt we will surely take offense. Until we can recognize that other people’s actions, behaviors, and words have really nothing to do with us and simply provide an inner glimpse into their own wounding’s and pain, the cycle of offense and retaliation will continue. This system serves no one and hurts everyone.
I have found that taking a moment to take 3 deep breaths before answering out of offense provides the time, I need to reflect inwardly at what really is triggering me. We should recognize offenses as the opportunities they are, to provide a chance to identify those areas in us that still need healing and growth. It’s amazingly simple to defuse a situation and in turn experience more joy in your life simply by recognizing this one truth.
Offenses are opportunities to heal the wounds they reveal in us.
Julie Batchos
We are all connected in the inner depths of our souls, what I do affects you, and how I react also affects you. When must start recognizing this connection, this extension of ourselves, so that we can heal ourselves and extend grace to others, which is something so desperately needed in today’s world?
