Strong vs. Weak

Recently, in my own healing journey I had to reevaluate some definitions that I had held of certain words. I had to look at what strong really means and what I believed weak looked like. For me being strong meant being cautious, keeping up that guard of protection and weak was blindly trusting. Strong was being self reliant not needing anyone to help and weak was depending and needing others help. Strong was being in control, weak was not. Strong was you determining what happens and weak was having things happen to you. Strong to me meant safe, secure, protected, and weak meant danger, pain, suffering.

As I took the time to define what these meant to me and be honest with myself, it made so much sense and coincided with several areas of struggle in my own life. It made sense why I tried to swallow back tears and not ask for help. It made sense why I was always cautious when meeting people and why I hated when things were out of my control. I recognize that much of this came from the trauma that somewhat molded my current mindset but I also realize that the choice to change that mindset and release the things that no longer serve me is mine. 

The truth is weakness, how I had defined it, isn't weakness. it portrayed true strength. When we recognize that we are not alone on our journeys and that we are meant to walk through this together with others, that is understanding where our strength comes from, connection. I realized that what I had seen as my strength was truly my weakness. Control is an illusion that we attempt to use to protect ourselves.

Connection recognizes that I am safe, secure, loved, and protected, I do not need to protect myself someone higher than myself already fights for me, I do not need to  be afraid, I can simply rest confident and secure in the love of the one who is for me forever.

I do not need to be strong I only need to let go.

Letting go of the pain and hurt allows us to be able to trust again. For me that meant being able to trust the one I have known and love before time was time. 

Letting go of the shame and fear of feeling unworthy, opening ourselves up and being vulnerable may make us experience hurt, but it also opens us up to loving again, and developing deep connections.