The Journey of Self Compassion-Part 2
We were talking about identifying our core beliefs in my prior blog, if you missed that post you can find it here. Core beliefs hinder the way we interpret situations and ourselves. The first step was to identify what our core beliefs actually are. Once we have done that, we can move on to the second step.
Notice how you treat yourself. What words do you use when you talk to yourself? What is your tone? Are you kind to yourself in the way you arrange your day? Record what you find in a journal for a week and then reflect back on what you noticed. Are there any themes or patterns? Would you treat your best friend that way? I was surprised by the way I chose to speak to myself, I would never talk to anyone I know or loved that way.
Begin to foster the relationship you want with yourself. When we are mindful of how we are treating ourselves and asking the questions: Would I treat a friend, child, spouse, the way I am treating myself? How can I better fulfill what my should needs in this moment? We can begin to rewrite the script.
Extend kindness and compassion to yourself. Speaking kindly and compassionately to ourselves may seem difficult, and sometimes we do need a little added support from friends, a coach, or even a therapist and that is perfectly normal. Remember this is probably a long time pattern so be kind to yourself.
Give Yourself Permission to Be Imperfect. One book I found helpful was The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brene Brown. It helped me see that perfectionism isn’t possible and it’s not what we are called to. What are we called to?
“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Let go of the need to be perfect and you will feel the relief that brings into your life instantly.
Blessings,
Julie
